Our first attempts were invite everyone in at New Year time.
In both houses we also had Burns Nights, not the traditional Burns Suppers but parties. with plenty to drink and Haggis, Tatties and Neeps to eat.
In order to get everyone in the mood the invitations were sent out as a poem and the replies had to be in the same style.
We were delighted that everyone entered into the spirit of the occasion and the Invitation and a selection of the replies are copied below.
Enjoy the read
Pat and Jim are askin ye a' inside,
to come and j'in us for a jig and a reel,
and maybe e'en a sang or twa besides
We'll a hae a wee dram or twa,
aye an a drap o' ale to please,
while we mind o' the lad frae Alloway,
Wha later lived in braw Dumfries.
Noo, Rabbie Burns wis the lad,
an' so we ne'er forget his rhyme,
his sangs an a' his sayings glad,
let us hae a richt guid time.
An when we've a' tipped oor glasses,
we'll hae a bit o' Scottish fare,
some bashed neeps wi' chappit tatties,
an a haggis sent doon frae Ayr.
Noo then a ye scholars guid an braw,
just sit doon wi paper an pen,
an scribble an anserin line or twa,
to say ye'll come (in rhymin verse ye ken).
Ao look oot thae auld dancin shean,
an tak a carfae note o' this date,
makin shair it's never hidden.
It's on the 23rd at half past eight.
Print Verion
tae invite us in tae celebrate,
We didny ken ye neeps an' ayes,
but we'll be thair at half past eight.
An' a' tha mem'ries o' Bannackburn
must bi forgit at Pat an' Jim's,
an' we shid ne'er bi afraid ta learn
some foreign ways an' Scottish whims.
But it disny seem juist richt, nay fair
tae mak us eat thae heathen food,
but when tha haggis has floon frae Ayr
no doot hae'll tast booth braw an' guid.
Noo Rabbie wis a Healand lad
an' many a sang o doot he writ,
but o'er tha border ye must bi sad
tae spend booth Hogmany an' Burns nicht.
So if we can help tae tak ye hame
ooer freenship will be guid an' troo,
an' di'in a jig will bi ooer game
wi' Pat an' Jim, och aye tha noo!
Frae what I ken Jim isny a true Scot,
wha taks his Usquebaugh bi tha dram,
but mabe o'er a wee small tot
hae'll bi di'in a fling aroond tha room.
Forgive the efforts o' a buddin' poet,
but we couldny let tha challenge g00,
so Sue an' Keith will mak a goo o' it
in tams an' kilts wi' Skean Dhu!
With saucy verse
and lines perverse
Your invite we accept
Your scottish fare
Sent down from Ayr
We'll drink your malt
And pass your salt
And go home looking pale
From having eat
Excess of neep
And drank too much of ale
From Andrew and Sue at thirty four,
We thank you for your line,
And welcome the chance to cross your door,
To toast Rabbie Burns with wine.
To Pat and Jim, Thanks afy muckle
Yer verse fair made us chuckle
I'll bet e'en Rabbie'd been delighted
At see'n the manner in which we're invited
Noo takin the hint we've picked up a pen
Tho' that we're comin' you already ken.
A dram an' some haggis is not to be missed
An ken'in they Leggates we'll all end up (cheerie)
On Tuesday night he came home with it
tucked safely in the pocket of his coat
he handed over without comment
the very strangest note!
The language appeared to be foreign.
Perhaps it is Cobol or CICS
I'm going to need help with translation
but which dictionary to pick
There is the odd word that I've heard of
plus a couple of names
I gather that Rabbie means Robert
Perhaps it's the night of the Burns
Now haggis is vaguely familiar
Though I've never yet had a taste
But as for bashed neeps and chappit
Can it be bread and fish paste
How could we ignore such an invite
We must help celebrate this bard
We have no tartan to boast of
But expect us both on the 23rd
The other day when we came home
We found your welcome little poem,
Inviting us to come to you
for a dance and a drink or two.
This was a great surprise, a treat
Indeed a very kind invitation
We look forward your friends to meet
We are sure the evening will be a sensation.
So Dot and Nick will be at your gate
On the 23rd at half past eight
So "Go fetch to me a pint o' wine
An' fill it in a silver tassie".
It wid be a braw bricht nicht ye ken,
Wi lots 0' freens an drams an prancin'
But the best laid plans o' mice an' men,
Ta' doon - cos we're off tae ainither hoose fir dancin'.
We're unco' sad tae miss yer perty,
But the twa doos clash aboot echt therty.
Cor blimey wha' a surprise i' were
Te ge' yer invitation fer
A Sco'ish celebration nigh'
Fanks a lo' we'al come alrigh'
' oo is vis bloke of 'oom you speak?
Runs the Post Office in our 'igh Street,
wondered wha' 'e did in 'is spare time
Clever geyser if 'e can write in rhyme,
Booze and grub and knees-up too
We do look forward ta seein' you,
Janet and Roy 'ave made i' a da'
The twen'y ferd a' 'arpass teigh'.
In answer to your invite kind
expect to see the clan Mac-Hind
the date is right the nighct is great
expect my man and me at eight (8.30)
Weel jig a' nighct upon your flair
me man and me frae bonny Ayr
Heresta the bottle passed aroon
just like the one we had at Troon
Our Rabbie was a bard sae braw
a gay one wae the lassies
anoh he'll no be there anaw
so weel help to tim your glasses
Scratching heads, chewing pencils, muttering oaths,
Composing poetry, . . . . God onle knows!
Now we have this smashing invitation,
Guess who's stuck with verbal constipation?
So 'ere goes!
We'll be at your 'ouse at arpastate,
Or there abouts at any rate!
Wi' mates such as thee from ower t'Border,
'Oo could refuse such a gradely order?
We're reight lookin' forard to t'aggis and taters,
Adding calories for all us "watch-weighters"!
Wi' keep fit and squash ter fill in ower days,
We've gorra stop Pat from scoffing Milky Ways!!
Us folk from up in t'ills o' Yorkshire,
Cannot wait for this neet o' culture,
We're thick as puddin and none too bright,
Tha' nose it's fust time we've bin to a Scottish Burn's night
Print Verion
The evening will start quiet,
But sassenachs who are in the know,
Are preparing for a niet.
For all the Scots who venture south,
Have gatherings one learns,
Where they drink strong drink and eat strange food,
And talk of Rabbie Burns.
When men wear kilts not trousers,
The girls dance highland flings,
To Jimmy Shand's accordian
And Moira Anderson sings.
T'was early in '87,
When the fateful letter came,
From Pat 'n Jim at 49,
Inviting us 'tae their hame'.
For hours and hours we pondered,
As we held it in our hand.
For despite our best endeavours,
We failed to understand.
Until at last assistance
Came from a helpful Scot.
Not from heathen Glasgow,
But that nicer Edinburgh lot!
So yes we'll be delighted
To come and join the throng,
To help to drink your whisky,
And sing a Scottish song.
But can we ask one favour,
If the evening is to suit,
Don't kill a poor wee haggis,
It's the piper you must shoot!
At last we have translated wot you writ in funny verse
and as we can't write Scottish our answer must be worse
we tried with French and German but couldn't get the hang
of anything at all except Cockney Rhyming Slang
To your dram we can't both come because we got this trouble (NOT strife)
we cannot bring the husband; so your stuck with me the wife!
I'll put put the warpaint on me boat, and comb me Barnet (Fare)
and bring a bottle with me when I climb your apple (& pear)
For Nigel's got to fiddle, perhaps while Rabbie Burns
because he does this shift work, (that's how his loot he earns)
but please don't feel as well you might, that he don't give a tom(Tit)
I'm coming with a doggie bag to sneak hime back a bit.
We hope you get this message just a soon as you get home
(because you're both at work all day we couldn't dog (& bone)
so one of us is coming and one of us is not
I hate this bloody typing so that yer naffin' lot
We thank you for your kind invite
but don't know if we'll fit
because you see we're English
with just a little Irish bit
We'd love to come and join you
but don't know what to wear
should it be an English outfit
or have a slightly Scottish air
Warwick hasn't got a kilt
and I've only got a frock
Can we come in usual clothes
or would that cause a shock
Warwick's lack of Scottish kilt
is really so upsetting
He's got such lovely legs, you see
but my tartan skirt won't fit him.
So, perhaps you'll let us know in time
if we need to go and hire
some Scottish clothes to wear that night
to be in right attire.
'Twas at the gathering of the Clans
South of Hadrians's Wall
In a Sassenach's town called Purley
Jim and Pat Leggate held a Ball
Colin and Eunice gratefully accept
The invitation to come and watch
All the festification and frivolity
And share in a glass of Scotch.
He said wee sleekit coorin' timrous beastie
but there's nae panic in our breastie
We will come wi mirth an' patter
what we eat it does nae matter.
the evening of jan' twenty-four
will find us knocking on your door
Some golden liquid we will bring
pour it well an' you'll hear us sing.
wi food an' ale an' whisky flowing
a' the evenin' we'll be glowin'
to celebrate in style superior
the birth of a bard in no way inferior
We've run out of time
For a Scottish rhymw.
We've struggled in vain
Nearly driven insane
But nothing is worse
Than a horrible verse
Enough of this baloney
From Angela and Tony
Have no fear
We'll be there
(I'll raise a few cheers
with ou... ar... me deers)
The sna' it's deep an' the wind it's cauld,
There's whiles I think I'm gettin auld,
But on the night o' Rabbie's birth,
We'll still get fou o' drink an' mirth.
The wind outside can blow its worst,
We'll a' eat haggis till fit tae burst,
We'll sing and dance an' bring guid cheer,
An' drink some drams an' a drappie beer.
I'll bring the pipes, ye can be sure,
I'll warn ye now, they can sound dour!
But wi' the help o' famous Groose,
There'll be some skirlin' aboot yer hoose.
We'll leave the bairn in able hands,
An' come oorsels, and bring oor cans,
If you maun know who wrote this stuff,
It's Susan and Ken - and that's enough.
At rhyming verse I'm not too grand,
But I'll have a go if you think I should
Even though my ode ought to be banned,
'Cos it's too hard to be understood.
I wandered lonely - no that's been done before
My lines must be original.
But wait a while there's not much more
Before I give my signal
The signal that will tell you
If to your party I want to come
The answer "Yes" confirms I do
I'd love to have some fun.
Print Verion
O whistle, an' we'll come to yee, Pat
O whistle, an' we'll come to yee, Jim
For to celebrate Rabbie Burns, an go mad'
O whistle, an' we'll come ta your pad!
