tae invite us in tae celebrate,
We didny ken ye neeps an' ayes,
but we'll be thair at half past eight.
An' a' tha mem'ries o' Bannackburn
must bi forgit at Pat an' Jim's,
an' we shid ne'er bi afraid ta learn
some foreign ways an' Scottish whims.
But it disny seem juist richt, nay fair
tae mak us eat thae heathen food,
but when tha haggis has floon frae Ayr
no doot hae'll tast booth braw an' guid.
Noo Rabbie wis a Healand lad
an' many a sang o doot he writ,
but o'er tha border ye must bi sad
tae spend booth Hogmany an' Burns nicht.
So if we can help tae tak ye hame
ooer freenship will be guid an' troo,
an' di'in a jig will bi ooer game
wi' Pat an' Jim, och aye tha noo!
Frae what I ken Jim isny a true Scot,
wha taks his Usquebaugh bi tha dram,
but mabe o'er a wee small tot
hae'll bi di'in a fling aroond tha room.
Forgive the efforts o' a buddin' poet,
but we couldny let tha challenge g00,
so Sue an' Keith will mak a goo o' it
in tams an' kilts wi' Skean Dhu!
With saucy verse
and lines perverse
Your invite we accept
Your scottish fare
Sent down from Ayr
We'll drink your malt
And pass your salt
And go home looking pale
From having eat
Excess of neep
And drank too much of ale
From Andrew and Sue at thirty four,
We thank you for your line,
And welcome the chance to cross your door,
To toast Rabbie Burns with wine.
To Pat and Jim, Thanks afy muckle
Yer verse fair made us chuckle
I'll bet e'en Rabbie'd been delighted
At see'n the manner in which we're invited
Noo takin the hint we've picked up a pen
Tho' that we're comin' you already ken.
A dram an' some haggis is not to be missed
An ken'in they Leggates we'll all end up (cheerie)
On Tuesday night he came home with it
tucked safely in the pocket of his coat
he handed over without comment
the very strangest note!
The language appeared to be foreign.
Perhaps it is Cobol or CICS
I'm going to need help with translation
but which dictionary to pick
There is the odd word that I've heard of
plus a couple of names
I gather that Rabbie means Robert
Perhaps it's the night of the Burns
Now haggis is vaguely familiar
Though I've never yet had a taste
But as for bashed neeps and chappit
Can it be bread and fish paste
How could we ignore such an invite
We must help celebrate this bard
We have no tartan to boast of
But expect us both on the 23rd
The other day when we came home
We found your welcome little poem,
Inviting us to come to you
for a dance and a drink or two.
This was a great surprise, a treat
Indeed a very kind invitation
We look forward your friends to meet
We are sure the evening will be a sensation.
So Dot and Nick will be at your gate
On the 23rd at half past eight
So "Go fetch to me a pint o' wine
An' fill it in a silver tassie".
It wid be a braw bricht nicht ye ken,
Wi lots 0' freens an drams an prancin'
But the best laid plans o' mice an' men,
Ta' doon - cos we're off tae ainither hoose fir dancin'.
We're unco' sad tae miss yer perty,
But the twa doos clash aboot echt therty.
Cor blimey wha' a surprise i' were
Te ge' yer invitation fer
A Sco'ish celebration nigh'
Fanks a lo' we'al come alrigh'
' oo is vis bloke of 'oom you speak?
Runs the Post Office in our 'igh Street,
wondered wha' 'e did in 'is spare time
Clever geyser if 'e can write in rhyme,
Booze and grub and knees-up too
We do look forward ta seein' you,
Janet and Roy 'ave made i' a da'
The twen'y ferd a' 'arpass teigh'.
In answer to your invite kind
expect to see the clan Mac-Hind
the date is right the nighct is great
expect my man and me at eight (8.30)
Weel jig a' nighct upon your flair
me man and me frae bonny Ayr
Heresta the bottle passed aroon
just like the one we had at Troon
Our Rabbie was a bard sae braw
a gay one wae the lassies
anoh he'll no be there anaw
so weel help to tim your glasses
Scratching heads, chewing pencils, muttering oaths,
Composing poetry, . . . . God only knows!
Now we have this smashing invitation,
Guess who's stuck with verbal constipation?
So 'ere goes!
We'll be at your 'ouse at arpastate,
Or there abouts at any rate!
Wi' mates such as thee from ower t'Border,
'Oo could refuse such a gradely order?
We're reight lookin' forard to t'aggis and taters,
Adding calories for all us "watch-weighters"!
Wi' keep fit and squash ter fill in ower days,
We've gorra stop Pat from scoffing Milky Ways!!
Us folk from up in t'ills o' Yorkshire,
Cannot wait for this neet o' culture,
We're thick as puddin and none too bright,
Tha' nose it's fust time we've bin to a Scottish Burn's night
